Secret #63: When Food Becomes Fear with Tamara Hubbard
Living with food allergies brings a daily struggle of anxiety, uncertainty, and real risk—but it also offers powerful lessons about courage, resilience, and managing fear. In this revealing episode, we’re joined by Tamara Hubbard, a licensed clinical professional counselor and leading expert on the psychological impact of food allergies. Tamara draws on her personal journey and professional expertise to uncover how constant vigilance around food can shape families, fuel anxiety, and lead to both overprotection and life-enhancing growth.
From the reality of daily risk and the trauma of allergic reactions to navigating safety vs. quality of life, this discussion is packed with actionable advice for anyone facing anxiety—whether about parenting, health, or other unpredictable threats. Learn the difference between perceived and actual danger, how to empower yourself or your child to manage fear, and why finding a balance between safety and living fully is the ultimate secret to resilience.
With practical tips based on evidence-based therapies, Tamara shares real-world strategies to build confidence, advocate for your needs, and help children thrive in the face of uncertainty. Tune in to unlock insights for a fuller, braver life, whether you’re parenting a child with food allergies, confronting your own anxieties, or simply seeking to live more boldly in a world full of “may contain” risks.
Highlights:
Psychological impact of food allergies
Managing parenting anxiety and fear
Balancing safety and quality of life
Values-driven approaches to risk management
Empowering children through self-advocacy skills
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Food Allergies' Psychological Impact
06:03 Understanding Food Allergies vs. Intolerances
07:32 Food Allergy Diagnosis Impact
13:20 Navigating Life's Gray Areas Safely
15:48 Navigating Food Allergy Anxiety
18:55 Balancing Safety and Living Fully
22:46 Balancing Food Allergy Perspectives
26:29 Understanding Anxiety in Food Allergies
27:41 Balancing Anxiety and Food Allergies
32:35 Managing Anxiety: Safe Solutions Over Avoidance
36:14 Balancing Fear and Quality of Life
39:15 "Navigating Family Dynamics in Allergies"
41:19 Family Conflict and Tough Conversations
47:36 Advocacy Skills for Life Success
48:23 Pre-order Book & Access Resources
More about Tamara Hubbard:
Visit The Food Allergy Counselor website
Purchase May Contain Anxiety: Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergies
Listen to Exploring Food Allergy Families podcast
Visit Tamara’s private practice website
Follow @tamara-hubbard-ma-lcpc on LinkedIn
Tamara Hubbard is a licensed clinical professional counselor with more than 20 years of experience who helps women and parents of children with food allergies find their “just right” balance between feeling overwhelmed and living fully.
Regarded as a thought leader within the food allergy community, Tamara created The Food Allergy Counselor in 2018 to fill a much needed resource gap by offering evidence-based food allergy anxiety management, mindset, and parenting content. Tamara also founded the Academy of Food Allergy Counseling and its Food Allergy Counseling Directory, and currently serves as its Chief Advisor.
An active Allied Health member of professional allergy and immunology organizations, Tamara is a national speaker and holds advisory roles within the allergy community. Finally, her first book, May Contain Anxiety: Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergies with Johns Hopkins University Press comes out September 30th, 2025.
Learn more about Tamara at www.FoodAllergyCounselor.com and connect with her on socials at @FoodAllergyCounselor and @TherapistTamara.
Follow us on Facebook @lifesdirtylittlesecretspodcast and on Instagram @lifesdirtylittlesecrets
Reach out and let us know you are listening and what you would like to hear on the show - email:lifesdirtylittlesecretspodcast@gmail.com
-
Secret #63: When Food Becomes Fear with Tamara Hubbard
[00:00:00]
[00:00:41] Introduction to Life's Dirty Little Secrets
[00:00:41] Chris McCurry: Hello and welcome to Life's Dirty Little Secrets. I'm Chris McCurry.
[00:00:46] Emma Waddington: And I'm Emma Waddington, and today we're delighted to be joined by Tamara Hubbard. A licensed clinical professional counselor who specializes in something. Most of us have never thought of the psychological [00:01:00] impact of living with food
[00:01:01] allergies. Tamara
[00:01:02] is the creator of the internationally recognized Food
[00:01:05] allergy counselor directory host
[00:01:08] of the Exploring Food Allergy
[00:01:10] Families Podcast,
[00:01:11] and she's been featured everywhere from Forbes to NPR for her groundbreaking work.
[00:01:16] But here's what makes Tamara work so relevant to all of us. She's discovered
[00:01:21] that food
[00:01:21] allergies create the perfect
[00:01:23] storm for anxiety.
[00:01:25] Think about
[00:01:25] it. You literally cannot eliminate or risk
[00:01:28] you have to eat multiple
[00:01:29] times a day.
[00:01:30] And one mistake could
[00:01:31] be
[00:01:31] life-threatening. It's slight anxiety's, worst, nightmare, and ultimate teaching tool all rolled into one. Her new book may contain anxiety. Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergy comes out September 30th, and it explores how families can move
[00:01:47] from being controlled by their fears
[00:01:48] to living fully despite real, unavoidable risks.
[00:01:52] What she's learned working with these families offers
[00:01:54] profound insights
[00:01:55] for anyone struggling with
[00:01:56] anxiety, parenting
[00:01:58] fears, or the illusion that we can [00:02:00] control our way to safety. Tamara has been named one of the top 100 women in food allergies. She's an
[00:02:06] allied health
[00:02:07] member of major food, of major allergy organizations, and most importantly, she understands that
[00:02:13] behind every medical diagnosis is a human story about fear, courage, and learning to live with uncertainty.
[00:02:20] Welcome,
[00:02:21] Tamara.
[00:02:21] Tamara Hubbard: you
[00:02:22] guys so much for having me. I appreciate it.
[00:02:24] Emma Waddington: Thank you.
[00:02:25] Yes, it's a real delight.
[00:02:27] I'm really impressed
[00:02:28] with everything you've already done,
[00:02:29] and I'm so excited to get my hands on your new book.
[00:02:33] So Perhaps
[00:02:34] Understanding Food Allergies: Stats and Facts
[00:02:34] Emma Waddington: we can get started with just talking to listeners
[00:02:37] about life
[00:02:38] with a food allergy, because I think most of
[00:02:40] us probably
[00:02:42] don't understand it and don't realize
[00:02:45] how
[00:02:45] common it is.
[00:02:46] I was quite
[00:02:46] surprised to hear some of the stats that you
[00:02:48] shared.
[00:02:49] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah. Here in the states,
[00:02:50] I think current stats are one in 13 kids. That's an average of two per classroom. But food allergies are not just impacting kids. Adults have food allergies as [00:03:00] well, either from childhood or they may develop food allergies as adults. I, I think
[00:03:04] current stats are
[00:03:05] one in 10
[00:03:06] here in the states.
[00:03:07] But
[00:03:08] The Psychological Impact of Food Allergies
[00:03:08] Tamara Hubbard: uh, living with food allergies makes living more complicated, as you said in your intro,
[00:03:12] right? There's
[00:03:13] food all day, every day in almost everything that we
[00:03:16] do, social school, work things. And
[00:03:19] so it's navigating these very, what our mind tells us, very dangerous and threatening opportunities at all corners of the day, all day, every day.
[00:03:29] And you can imagine that can be pretty exhausting over time.
[00:03:32] Chris McCurry: Yeah, that would be it was like death lurks everywhere.
[00:03:37] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah, and you know, not every allergic
[00:03:40] reaction is life-threatening. I think that's an important distinction to make on
[00:03:44] the onset of our conversation, is that if somebody
[00:03:47] has a food allergy,
[00:03:48] and I'll
[00:03:49] define that a little more here first, a food allergy is not the same as an intolerance
[00:03:54] or
[00:03:54] a sensitivity where it might just make your, your body feel uncomfortable.
[00:03:57] But a food allergy is essentially when the [00:04:00] body misinterprets a food protein
[00:04:02] as something dangerous and it goes into action to, to help you and, and save,
[00:04:08] you know, save yourself
[00:04:09] from that food, from that, that protein that is deemed dangerous.
[00:04:13] So it's, it's the
[00:04:14] body, the immune system working faulty.
[00:04:17] Is basically what
[00:04:18] it is. And so,
[00:04:20] you know, there's a lot of factors that go into what kind of allergic reaction you might have from, is it ingestion versus touching? How much did you ingest? What were you doing? Were you active when you ingested it? An allergic reaction can be, you know, one bodily symptom.
[00:04:36] It could be multiple bodily symptoms moving into what we call anaphylaxis, which is a much more severe
[00:04:41] allergic reaction,
[00:04:42] and that
[00:04:42] can happen.
[00:04:43] Anaphylaxis can happen from food, from bee stings, from medication as well. It's not just food.
[00:04:49] Emma Waddington: It sounds terrifying. I was also wondering,
[00:04:51] as you
[00:04:52] were describing some of the. Reactions. How do people find out they have a food allergy?
[00:04:56] Like
[00:04:57] it sounds like it could
[00:04:58] potentially have
[00:04:58] been a really [00:05:00] terrifying first experience as well.
[00:05:02] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah, a lot of times it, it, there's some trauma
[00:05:05] associated with the first allergic reaction that then leads to the diagnosis after going to the doctor and having, you know, the workups done and a history taken about what you were eating and what was happening. It can be very terrifying.
[00:05:19] Managing Food Allergies: Personal Experiences
[00:05:19] Tamara Hubbard: I know for my.
[00:05:20] Son, my younger son has a food allergy. And so that's what got me into this work. I was a marriage and family therapist doing other work, and then my son was
[00:05:28] diagnosed. And after I got myself to a place where I felt
[00:05:32] like I was managing things well, I decided I wanted to focus on it clinically. And so yeah, there, there absolutely can be trauma associated with that first allergic reaction. And, and again, it's oftentimes we don't know we have that food allergy until we've had that allergic reaction, so.
[00:05:48] Hereditary Factors and Food Allergies
[00:05:48] Chris McCurry: Is, is it heritable?
[00:05:50] Tamara Hubbard: So there, there can be a hereditary component to it, but it's not linear. So food allergies, it's, you know, everyone wants to know what causes it, [00:06:00] right? Parents often feel
[00:06:02] guilty and blame themselves, the blame game for their child's food allergy, but it's really not that linear.
[00:06:07] It's, it's a
[00:06:08] mix of, of things.
[00:06:09] Everything from epigenetics, our genes changing over time.
[00:06:13] Hygiene, there's a Hy Hygiene hypothesis. We're much more clean. We're much more clean. You know, we're not outside getting dirty as much. There's a microbiome component to
[00:06:22] it too. So there's a lot of components to it.
[00:06:25] And It's
[00:06:25] not linear parents who have food allergies, it's
[00:06:28] not automatic that their
[00:06:29] kids will have food allergies.
[00:06:31] Same thing if a older sibling has a food allergy. It's not a guarantee that a subsequent sibling would have food allergies, but there can be a hereditary component. It's just much more complex than meets the eye.
[00:06:43] Chris McCurry: Had, had there been
[00:06:43] twin studies?
[00:06:44] Tamara Hubbard: You know, I'm actually not sure about that. There have been sibling studies where they've looked at the, the percentage and it's much lower percentage from what I remember than our mind would like to think of,
[00:06:55] of siblings
[00:06:56] who have food allergies and then subsequent siblings. But I actually [00:07:00] don't know about the twin study thing.
[00:07:01] I,
[00:07:02] there's gotta be
[00:07:03] some out there. I just haven't
[00:07:04] read about them yet.
[00:07:05] Chris McCurry: Hmm, curious. We'll look into that.
[00:07:06] that.
[00:07:07] Tamara Hubbard: It's though. No. Now you Now I'm gonna go and, and try to look
[00:07:10] for her, ask some of my,
[00:07:11] my friends
[00:07:12] who are in research.
[00:07:13] Navigating Life with Food Allergies
[00:07:13] Emma Waddington: And I was just thinking it would be helpful for me and for listeners to get an idea of what it's like when if you get diagnosed or a family, your child gets diagnosed, you
[00:07:25] know, the impulse must be to control everything
[00:07:28] like that fear must be overwhelming, especially if it's such a significant allergy where, that initial what would we say contamination led to a really severe reaction.
[00:07:42] I can imagine that sort of
[00:07:43] what we talk about in the podcast sometimes that amygdala hijack
[00:07:48] would've
[00:07:48] been really, really strong and will start to control or wanna attempt to control everything. What does that look like in, in their worlds or even in your world?[00:08:00]
[00:08:00] 'cause you've
[00:08:00] been
[00:08:00] there.
[00:08:01] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah. and, and I'll add in. It's not always just one food allergy. Sometimes families are managing multiple food allergies, right? And multiple food allergies. And with multiple children managing multiple
[00:08:13] food allergies or parents
[00:08:15] managing food, food
[00:08:16] allergies as well, right? So, and that. Every, every extra
[00:08:20] food allergy we add sort of complicates and makes things even harder
[00:08:23] to manage.
[00:08:23] So I'll just put that out there too. It's not just one to
[00:08:26] manage sometimes for families. Yeah. The, the,
[00:08:30] the instinct, when we
[00:08:32] feel anxious and overwhelmed
[00:08:33] by living with food allergies. Is, as you said, try to, to try to control everything and unfortunately, we can't control everything all the time. I know for myself when my son was diagnosed, that is exactly what I wanted
[00:08:45] to do, right? I, I, I
[00:08:46] developed very rigid routines, very rigid protocols and rules.
[00:08:52] and that's not to say that. Routines
[00:08:54] and protocols and rules
[00:08:55] aren't helpful. They absolutely are
[00:08:57] helpful and needed in managing life with food [00:09:00] allergies.
[00:09:00] That's what helps keep us safe.
[00:09:02] But we also have to be mindful of do these rigid protocols and rules and
[00:09:06] routines keep us from
[00:09:08] living a full life and are we avoiding things beyond what's medically necessary just to calm our anxious mind or the
[00:09:16] anxious thoughts we have?
[00:09:18] And we can tend to overestimate risk. And then underestimate our ability to safely navigate a situation just based on how anxious and overwhelmed we feel, and that perceived lack of control over everything.
[00:09:31] Chris McCurry: Well, And it's not just a perceived but control.
[00:09:35] Balancing Safety and Living Fully
[00:09:35] Tamara Hubbard: Right, so that's one of the things I address in my book, and I'm very careful to say many times in the book. I'm not a doctor, I'm a licensed therapist, so I help guide
[00:09:45] families to have con important
[00:09:46] conversations with their healthcare team to get the right information that's specific to them.
[00:09:52] But one of the things that is very important is when you're living with a food
[00:09:56] allergy or parenting a child with food allergy, is
[00:09:59] learning [00:10:00] how to determine perceived
[00:10:01] versus actual risk.
[00:10:03] And beyond that the level of
[00:10:06] risk, right?
[00:10:07] So our mind wants us to think in absolutes. Everything is either totally safe or totally unsafe, totally risky or totally. Totally not
[00:10:15] risky.
[00:10:16] Unfortunately there's a lot of gray in life, and so there may be experiences
[00:10:22] that yeah, are not a hundred
[00:10:23] percent risk-free or, or very, you know,
[00:10:26] totally safe.
[00:10:27] But they're,
[00:10:28] there are experiences that we may
[00:10:29] say
[00:10:30] we can do safely enough in order to bring value into our lives. So one example would be traveling, right? My husband is from England and so. We have a whole side of the family that lives over there and immediately when my son was diagnosed,
[00:10:44] I was like, God, yeah,
[00:10:46] okay.
[00:10:47] It's been great. We're not
[00:10:48] going over there
[00:10:48] anymore. That's what my mind told me
[00:10:50] because the fear of
[00:10:51] flying and traveling and.
[00:10:53] Putting in
[00:10:54] another country felt so overwhelming.
[00:10:56] However, then I had
[00:10:57] to work through to get factual [00:11:00] information with our
[00:11:00] allergists to make sure, how can we do this safely? It's not a don't do it, it's can we do it safely?
[00:11:05] It's a question of can we,
[00:11:07] and if so, how, put into the practice those
[00:11:11] protocols. And then the hardest part is actually
[00:11:14] doing the uncomfortable
[00:11:15] thing. Like getting
[00:11:18] on the plane, like traveling and trusting, you know, that
[00:11:21] the information that our allergist told us is,
[00:11:24] is, is, is.
[00:11:26] accurate and we have the protocols we need, and we have
[00:11:29] our emergency action
[00:11:30] plan, and we have our
[00:11:31] epinephrine.
[00:11:32] And, but that was a values thing,
[00:11:35] and I talk about this in my book.
[00:11:36] Allergy families tend to focus only or. Primarily on safety and protection, the values of safety
[00:11:43] and protection.
[00:11:44] And while those always remain top and very important and priority,
[00:11:49] it is
[00:11:50] important to also focus on other values in addition to safety, like connection, independence for our kids, growing independence.
[00:11:59] [00:12:00] Being curious, whatever values are important to you in addition
[00:12:03] to staying safe.
[00:12:04] Chris McCurry: You know, I can imagine that some of these safety protocols and procedures.
[00:12:11] Sort of take a life, take on a life of their own and almost start developing superstitious behaviors that may be completely unrelated to the safety of the child or the adult. But in our minds, we're always looking for connections and associations and things
[00:12:30] could probably spin out pretty quickly.
[00:12:34] Tamara Hubbard: Very
[00:12:34] easily. Again our mind, wants, I, I use
[00:12:37] the analogy
[00:12:38] of Legos or the metaphor of Legos that uh, you know, we may be able to put a
[00:12:42] bunch
[00:12:43] of pieces
[00:12:43] together, but for that particular kit
[00:12:46] that we're putting together, those two pieces we put together don't make the most sense
[00:12:50] for that picture. And so what I mean by that is that you know, our mind when we're living with
[00:12:56] food allergies.
[00:12:57] Anytime it feels anxious
[00:12:59] or we have an anxious, [00:13:00] what if thought we can easily say, oh, that means something is
[00:13:04] completely unsafe or it's not safe to be doing when in reality. The meaning
[00:13:09] may not
[00:13:09] be about safety. It may
[00:13:11] be safe enough to do, it
[00:13:13] may still be
[00:13:13] uncomfortable, but it might, we might be anxious because it's new.
[00:13:17] We haven't practiced stepping outside of our comfort zone.
[00:13:20] You know,
[00:13:21] It's, we don't really know the outcome, but it, it's still safe enough
[00:13:25] to be doing.
[00:13:26] that goes back to having really important conversations with allergists and healthcare teams.
[00:13:33] Each individual and family managing food allergies needs to have conversations with their
[00:13:36] healthcare team to determine with their set of
[00:13:39] allergies, neuro
[00:13:40] allergic profile, what is safe and unsafe.
[00:13:43] There are some standard facts out there that allergists will give, but then how does that apply to the
[00:13:49] way that family wants to live? The things that are important to them to be doing and, you know, have conversations about how can we stay safe while doing these important
[00:13:58] things.
[00:13:59] Chris McCurry: [00:14:00] So those are very important conversations
[00:14:01] to have and probably quite in depth conversations.
[00:14:05] Emma Waddington: It.
[00:14:06] Tamara Hubbard: And they don't they don't always happen, unfortunately, because appointments are quick and we might only see our, our allergist once a year. So I'm always encouraging families to reach back out to their healthcare team and ask
[00:14:19] these questions if there's something on their mind,
[00:14:22] if there's something
[00:14:23] they're wondering about.
[00:14:24] Especially pertaining to safety, and they're spending hours online trying to get that information, or they're avoiding things just because they're feeling anxious rather than knowing if they need to be avoiding it for medical purposes,
[00:14:37] for safety purposes, for their
[00:14:38] child or their family.
[00:14:40] That's automatically, when I say,
[00:14:42] please reach out
[00:14:43] to your healthcare team and have
[00:14:44] that important conversation, schedule an appointment to have a consultation appointment, or just send a MyChart message.
[00:14:51] Chris McCurry: So to, to be a strong advocate for your child and, and for your
[00:14:54] family.
[00:14:56] Tamara Hubbard: A hundred percent.
[00:14:56] Chris McCurry: be a squeaky wheel.
[00:14:59] Tamara Hubbard: I call it being an [00:15:00] empowered patient or like you said, an advocate. And oftentimes we have to do that because we may not be having, a lot of times we're not having these sort of quality
[00:15:08] of life focused conversations in our allergy and healthcare appointments in general, but it's simply because of time.
[00:15:15] There's so much to cover in such a short period of time. But I encourage people not to feel like they're pestering their healthcare team. If they're asking questions that are keeping them up at night or are impacting how they're living their lives.
[00:15:29] Chris McCurry: Come in with a list.
[00:15:30] Tamara Hubbard: Yes, yes. I do encourage that. Yeah.
[00:15:33] Emma Waddington: This, this
[00:15:34] is so important, isn't it? To really be able to distinguish. The information that you need to live more fully
[00:15:44] and
[00:15:45] how that, what you talked about is this idea that you mentioned in a previous conversation I heard that I loved, is that inevitably right, safety will feel like it trumps everything, but you wanna [00:16:00] know how to have safety
[00:16:02] and.
[00:16:03] Live fully right? Not just safety or living fully.
[00:16:07] And yes requires an,
[00:16:09] especially in this context with food allergies, a certain amount of information, but like with other anxieties. This is why I find
[00:16:17] this, this parallel with food allergies such an important one because there's ultimately nothing scarier than death, right?
[00:16:24] That's gonna really trigger anxiety and the desire
[00:16:27] to control.
[00:16:29] a lot of anxiety comes with this fear
[00:16:32] of,
[00:16:33] you know, catastrophic outcomes. Like if
[00:16:35] we think of, you know, anxiety around you know, flying or the
[00:16:40] end of a relationship or, you know, there's always a worst case scenario. This one is
[00:16:45] particularly worst case.
[00:16:46] This is why it's so useful for. Our listeners to think about how on earth, if we can learn to navigate and live fully with a food allergy, we can learn to navigate and live fully with many other conditions and [00:17:00] many other thoughts and feelings. So I think this conversation is a
[00:17:03] beautiful bridge for a lot of our listeners who may not have food allergies,
[00:17:07] but
[00:17:07] who may struggle with anxiety
[00:17:09] to see that you really can
[00:17:11] live fully even when things are really, really scary.
[00:17:17] Tamara Hubbard: You can, and
[00:17:18] it's not to say it's easy. When you're
[00:17:21] just focused on
[00:17:22] safety or when we're primarily focused on safety, which we always will be when
[00:17:26] managing food allergies. It's just a fact, right.
[00:17:29] Strategies for Managing Anxiety
[00:17:29] Tamara Hubbard: some of the things that I encourage parents and families to, to do to help them find that balance
[00:17:36] between safety and living fully
[00:17:38] is one of the things you already mentioned is switching from an OR mindset to an and
[00:17:43] MI mindset, right? So how can we go out to eat safely and. Have fun
[00:17:50] while eating
[00:17:50] out as a family. Instead of, you know, can we go out, can we go out to eat? Or we
[00:17:56] can't go out to eat because it's unsafe. Automatically assuming things are [00:18:00] unsafe just because they make us feel
[00:18:01] anxious, right?
[00:18:02] So
[00:18:03] the other thing is to notice things in your life that you are categories you're automatically avoiding because of fear and anxiety, and. Have a deeper, again, go back to having that deeper conversation with your healthcare team on, do I need to be avoiding these things or am I avoiding it to call my own anxiety?
[00:18:22] So it's determining
[00:18:23] whether it's anxiety management that you're, you're after or it's, it is needing to be avoided
[00:18:30] for safety purposes. And another strategy, I,
[00:18:34] I often will
[00:18:35] help have families practice, right? So those what ifs you talked about
[00:18:38] the, the anxiety. Then the, the truth is there is going to be fear of
[00:18:41] allergic reactions
[00:18:42] and fear of potential death. There's just no way around that that is. Appropriate
[00:18:47] to be afraid of. However, instead of
[00:18:50] ruminating and sort of spinning on worst case scenarios, I'll talk to families about switching their what if thoughts, those worried thoughts to more action focused thoughts.[00:19:00]
[00:19:00] So
[00:19:00] a what if thought to an if then thought, well what if my child has an allergic reaction out on that, out on that playground or out at the play date or out at lunch turns to. Well, if they have an allergic reaction, then the staff that I've talked to that we've trained will use the emergency action plan and epinephrine will be used and they'll call 9 1 1 if they need
[00:19:23] to. Right. They'll get the medical attention.
[00:19:26] And finally, another strategy that
[00:19:28] I talk about
[00:19:29] often is and you sort
[00:19:30] of touched on
[00:19:30] it already, is widening the perspective. Again, we get very focused on. The, the life-threatening qualities that food allergies can bring to the table, that fear of death or even a fear of a, of a allergic reaction that's that's severe.
[00:19:47] Not death maybe, but just again, having to go to the hospital or getting medical attention. That's, you know, that's not fun either. That is terrifying as well.
[00:19:55] And
[00:19:56] to help us
[00:19:57] sort of. Say, okay, yes, that is [00:20:00] something we're gonna be worried about and focused on. Let's widen the perspective to not just focus on
[00:20:05] worst
[00:20:05] case outcomes, which is where our mind is always going to wanna go, but also to what is the best case outcome in this situation, and what is the most likely outcome
[00:20:16] in this situation.
[00:20:18] So
[00:20:18] if we're gonna think
[00:20:18] about worst
[00:20:19] case and our mind will,
[00:20:21] right, let's also think about some
[00:20:23] of the other outcomes that might be possible so that we aren't so afraid of, of trying new things
[00:20:30] and stepping outside
[00:20:31] of our comfort zone safely to live our lives, even with food allergies.
[00:20:41] Emma Waddington: Those two, those two pieces you've just shared, I loved,
[00:20:45] and they're
[00:20:46] the two parts that define anxiety, right? On the one hand, we develop anxiety when we have sort of worst case scenarios in our head, you know, catastrophic outcomes.
[00:20:57] But the second part is [00:21:00] that we often think we can't cope. whatever will happen.
[00:21:03] Right.
[00:21:04] And I love that two-pronged approach that
[00:21:06] you
[00:21:06] have with families. And I think we can apply it to anxiety
[00:21:09] in general.
[00:21:10] The if then is brilliant, that
[00:21:12] is the
[00:21:12] coping, you know, if this happens, then this is what I'll do. Or if this happens, this is how I'll cope. I, I think that is so helpful to
[00:21:22] for
[00:21:22] families but ourselves to really
[00:21:24] be able
[00:21:24] Understanding Anxiety and Perspective
[00:21:24] Emma Waddington: to, sort of
[00:21:26] prepare ourselves, not let our minds determine everything when it comes to anxiety,
[00:21:31] when our fear is getting bigger, our view, like Chris always
[00:21:34] talks about that sort
[00:21:35] of, he, he uses his the toilet roll.
[00:21:39] You know, when anxiety gets bigger, our vision gets
[00:21:41] Chris McCurry: Paper towel actually, but that's fine.
[00:21:44] Emma Waddington: You're right.
[00:21:49] Chris McCurry: it's it's the, to,
[00:21:49] it's the toilet rule for little kids, you know, it's,
[00:21:52] it's the paper towel for, for adults.
[00:21:56] Emma Waddington: I think you're probably right, So take a child's more attractive. And [00:22:00] sort of, you know, our minds zoom into worst case scenario and by talking through the
[00:22:04] options, like what is the worst case, but what is the most realistic, we start to open up our perspective. And then working on that
[00:22:11] second piece around the
[00:22:12] if then
[00:22:14] helps us to know that, you know, even
[00:22:16] in these situations, then we can cope.
[00:22:21] It's, I, I really.
[00:22:21] really Love
[00:22:23] Chris McCurry: It's sort of,
[00:22:23] it's sort of like it
[00:22:24] pulls us. Out of that stuck place and toward, you know, I can cope, I can, I can take action or,
[00:22:33] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah.
[00:22:33] Chris McCurry: I, it's, it's, yeah, it's, it's pro.
[00:22:35] brilliant.
[00:22:36] Coping with Food Allergy Anxiety
[00:22:36] Tamara Hubbard: Well, and again, something I'm always talking to families about is that you know, we're gonna have anxiety, right? We all know that in our work, whether it's
[00:22:44] food allergies or otherwise, anxiety is an emotion we're all
[00:22:46] gonna have. And when
[00:22:48] living with food allergies, yeah, we're gonna
[00:22:49] feel anxious about
[00:22:50] things
[00:22:51] Sometimes,
[00:22:52] or sometimes a
[00:22:52] lot of the times we'll see that anxiety spike up usually
[00:22:56] after a diagnosis.
[00:22:58] after a subsequent
[00:22:59] allergic [00:23:00] reaction into a new age
[00:23:01] or stage
[00:23:02] or transitional developmental transition in a child's life. Right? Again, it all
[00:23:07] goes back
[00:23:07] to it's new, it's unknown, it's unfamiliar and
[00:23:11] our mind then senses
[00:23:12] that as increased danger and more threats.
[00:23:16] And maybe there are, but that's why we have to, that's why I, I, you know, I'm always. one of the most important
[00:23:23] things I do early on in my work with
[00:23:24] my clients is to establish that anxiety is gonna be there.
[00:23:29] It it, the goal is not to
[00:23:30] get rid of anxiety. The goal is to understand our anxiety about food allergies compassionately
[00:23:37] with self-compassion and understanding and
[00:23:39] curiosity. Get to know it,
[00:23:41] address it, figure out ways, you know, that it, that it
[00:23:47] totally lost my thought.
[00:23:48] Oh my God. I hate when that happens. Okay,
[00:23:50] I'll start again. Ashley,
[00:23:51] Chris McCurry: W wait till
[00:23:52] you're 72.
[00:23:55] Tamara Hubbard: I don't know. Perimenopause is doing a number, so,
[00:23:58] Managing Anxiety in Daily Life
[00:23:58] Tamara Hubbard: So that's why when I'm working with [00:24:00] families and what's peppered throughout the whole, the book entirely is that anxiety. The goal is not to
[00:24:05] get rid of anxiety, right? Anxiety's a an emotion. We're all gonna have.
[00:24:09] It's to get to know
[00:24:10] the anxiety, to manage the anxiety, and to help it to get to levels
[00:24:15] where it's not
[00:24:17] keeping you from living your life, right?
[00:24:19] It's, it's manageable
[00:24:20] levels that then. Anxiety
[00:24:22] helps us to stay safe, prepare, plan, take action that keep us safe,
[00:24:27] but still
[00:24:27] allows us to live our lives. In the book, I
[00:24:32] I refer to a researched principle called the Goldilocks
[00:24:35] Principle, and it's sort of
[00:24:37] this just right level of. Food allergy, anxiety and quality of life.
[00:24:43] It's, it's,
[00:24:44] it's, you know, we,
[00:24:44] we have to
[00:24:45] have some anxiety and we will have some anxiety, but we don't want it to be so debilitating that we aren't willing to step outside of any comfort zone and function.
[00:24:54] And
[00:24:54] so, again, getting to know anxiety that it doesn't just. Because something's unsafe that it's there [00:25:00] because something's new.
[00:25:01] And the the hard part, hardest part of all this is to practice and to do things. Take actions that might make us anxious, but help us feel safer in the long run in living life with food allergies. That is probably some of the hardest work we do in this niche.
[00:25:19] Emma Waddington: Sits up practicing, being comfortable, being uncomfortable, right? It's like a muscle that we
[00:25:26] grow. But accepting that anxiety will never go,
[00:25:29] 'cause anxiety has an important
[00:25:31] function for everybody in the world. Like we are anxious animals. But particularly with food allergy, right? It's there for a reason.
[00:25:41] What kind of parent
[00:25:42] would,
[00:25:43] didn't have anxiety?
[00:25:45] Tamara Hubbard: yeah, it is.
[00:25:46] Strategies for Anxiety Management
[00:25:48] Tamara Hubbard: And I think to Chris's earlier point that.
[00:25:50] I think, well, I think both of you made this point that we can rigidly believe
[00:25:55] every anxious thought we
[00:25:56] have about food allergies
[00:25:58] and [00:26:00] use that to
[00:26:00] determine what we feel is
[00:26:01] safe and unsafe. And that's not a helpful practice
[00:26:06] to get into,
[00:26:06] although that's oftentimes where we might start off with because we're so afraid
[00:26:11] of something happening to
[00:26:12] ourselves or our
[00:26:13] child.
[00:26:13] And that's understandable.
[00:26:15] So that's why it's really important to. Help determine what are our anxious thoughts and what are thoughts that are, you know, really based in the necessity of that is unsafe
[00:26:28] and, and that isn't safe for me to do,
[00:26:30] and, and I should, therefore I should avoid it. Right?
[00:26:32] Are we avoiding things because we're anxious about it or are we avoiding
[00:26:36] things because
[00:26:36] we medically need to?
[00:26:38] And that anxiety can really sh
[00:26:40] make it hard for us to determine that,
[00:26:42] that that risk level
[00:26:44] and
[00:26:44] the safety of different
[00:26:45] experiences.
[00:26:48] Chris McCurry: So in this,
[00:26:49] the
[00:26:50] acceptance and commitment therapy that we're all familiar with and many of our listeners are familiar with we talk about diffusion exercises and other [00:27:00] strategies for being able to cope in the moment when this stush, you know, bubbles up and
[00:27:05] begins to hijack our amyas and heart.
[00:27:09] And our thinking are, are there particular strategies that you like, that you give to your clients that are helpful in these situations from being able to, to sit with that stuff and still be oriented toward a valued living?
[00:27:27] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah, I mean, I think I, I, I use some of
[00:27:30] the, the well-known stereotypical
[00:27:32] act practices, like, leaves on a stream or clouds in the sky,
[00:27:37] noticing our thoughts, but also being able to notice other thoughts that we have. Right? I, I like to use, you know, that Big dark cloud, that scary dark cloud
[00:27:45] that might be
[00:27:46] carrying, you know, that storm in it isn't the only cloud we might see out there.
[00:27:50] You know what else about
[00:27:52] this?
[00:27:52] Eating out at a restaurant. Might you, might you see what other thoughts, what other outcomes, right? That widening the perspective. [00:28:00] But another one I like to use is mental
[00:28:01] appreciation. Let's start
[00:28:03] by thanking our mind for trying to help keep ourselves or
[00:28:06] our child safe, right?
[00:28:07] That sits. Purpose. That's its function. That's what it's
[00:28:10] trying to do with our anxious thoughts.
[00:28:13] So
[00:28:13] thanking it and saying, I appreciate you trying, but you're also working a little
[00:28:18] too hard here.
[00:28:19] You know, you're, you're
[00:28:20] being, I I term that as going from being a helpful friend to an unhelpful friend, right.
[00:28:24] Is we're our, our,
[00:28:26] Danger meter is a little
[00:28:27] too high here. Right. And so
[00:28:30] thanking our mind and starting from that place of, of sort of compassion, self-compassion for the anxiety and the anxious thoughts we have
[00:28:38] is
[00:28:38] also a good way to, in my opinion, to unhook from the very sticky thoughts and give us opportunity to widen that perspective to,
[00:28:46] okay, this
[00:28:47] might just be a thought, an anxious
[00:28:49] thought about
[00:28:49] safety versus a truth that this is
[00:28:52] unsafe.
[00:28:59] Emma Waddington: I guess I'm [00:29:00] just thinking sort of broader as well. When we have anxiety, sometimes it's hard to distinguish what is a reasonable, warranted, anxious thought and
[00:29:08] what isn't. Do
[00:29:09] you have any tips on that?
[00:29:12] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah, so, broadly
[00:29:14] speaking things like checking a label
[00:29:17] a couple of times, you know, maybe
[00:29:19] having a couple of set
[00:29:20] of eyes reading that label just to make sure, 'cause things can get by us if we're in a hurry at
[00:29:25] the grocery store. So maybe checking it at home as a second time just to make sure.
[00:29:30] Versus
[00:29:31] the, the, the, the, the giving into the urge to check it repeatedly over and over and over and over again as a way to calm or anxious thought about, is this safe or is
[00:29:41] this not
[00:29:42] right? That might be kind of a, a more common example.
[00:29:46] And then perhaps maybe another example
[00:29:48] of.
[00:29:49] you know, noticing the thought that if a child wants to go to a sports event or something at school, right?
[00:29:56] Giving into the urge of the anxious thought of they can't be there and do [00:30:00] that safely, so they just can't attend,
[00:30:02] versus saying, okay,
[00:30:03] how can they go safely? Maybe I, you know, again, leaning into a, the problem solving thinking line of thinking of what can we do to help make this
[00:30:13] safe so that that child can
[00:30:14] be included and connected with their peers, which is important for social health and developmental purposes.
[00:30:20] So
[00:30:20] perhaps maybe we problem
[00:30:21] solve by
[00:30:22] sending. Him with his own or
[00:30:24] her with her own snack. Right? So it's,
[00:30:26] it's noticing thoughts that,
[00:30:28] that tend to want to. Have us exclude
[00:30:32] and over avoid whole categories of life experiences because we're afraid versus saying, okay, we're afraid, we're anxious about this.
[00:30:40] Can we do this safely? And again, I, I bring that back to having conversations with allergist and healthcare team to help determine. What
[00:30:49] is safe,
[00:30:50] Safe enough, not safe, so that you have that, those, those markers to help you determine in any given situation, okay, we should be able to navigate this [00:31:00] safely by doing X, Y, and z, versus, okay, my mind is telling you there's no way to, to do this safely.
[00:31:06] That's because I'm
[00:31:06] anxious.
[00:31:11] Emma Waddington: And I guess, you know, as I was listening to you, I was thinking, you know, courage really isn't the absence of fear like this requires a lot of courage for families and,
[00:31:21] and. To, to get more comfortable with
[00:31:25] the fear,
[00:31:26] the inevitable fear. 'cause risk is there,
[00:31:29] you
[00:31:29] know, no matter how much you control these conditions, there's always an inherent risk and there's an inherent risk in life anyway, not just with food allergies, like we live with lots of risks, but like you said before we,
[00:31:44] we
[00:31:45] started the podcast,
[00:31:46] you know, it's focusing on all
[00:31:48] that
[00:31:48] matters, not just safety, right?
[00:31:51] We all care about safety. Obviously this is important and to all of us, and obviously you know, safety is a little more complicated when you're [00:32:00] navigating a food allergy, but being able to focus on all of it and starting to get more comfortable and that courage. Wow, I just. I put myself in the shoes of parents, and that's, it takes a lot of courage to say, yes, to go to a birthday party or yes, to go to a,
[00:32:20] you know, School
[00:32:21] trip, you know, because the urge would be.
[00:32:25] drop.
[00:32:26] Tamara Hubbard: it really just starts
[00:32:27] with the willingness
[00:32:29] to, to do it, quite honestly. it's unfortunately pretty easy to keep living
[00:32:35] in a way where we're over avoiding out of fear.
[00:32:39] Emma Waddington: Yeah.
[00:32:39] Tamara Hubbard: Rather than medical necessity because it feels safer and we talk
[00:32:43] ourselves into believing that it is
[00:32:44] safer. And by and large it is.
[00:32:46] I
[00:32:46] mean,
[00:32:47] right. We have less risk
[00:32:48] if we don't leave our house.
[00:32:50] It can't be a hundred percent
[00:32:51] risk ever, but it's a lot less risk if we never leave our house. However, the, the counterpoint I make to that is
[00:32:58] what's your
[00:32:59] quality of life? [00:33:00] What's your child's quality of life? What's your family's quality of life?
[00:33:04] And as a family therapist, that's important for me to help people
[00:33:09] connect with so that if they're choosing
[00:33:11] to over avoid things out of
[00:33:13] fear, that it's a choice
[00:33:14] that they're making instead of letting their anxious mind push them to do that. but again, there, there are ways
[00:33:22] to
[00:33:24] determine. Is this an anxious thought I'm having?
[00:33:27] And this
[00:33:28] is fear. And fear will be part of that equation, and I'm prepared for that fear to be here, but to also take meaningful actions towards a better quality of life or doing things that feel uncomfortable at first, like eating out, but doing them safely
[00:33:42] so
[00:33:42] that we can eventually do them more often and they feel it feels less uncomfortable.
[00:33:47] We feel more comfortable doing those things. Versus just staying stuck in this, what we feel is a bubble of safety, but it's usually at the cost of our quality of life and that of our family.
[00:33:59] Emma Waddington: And we [00:34:00] call those sort of safety behaviors, don't we? In our world, is developing these behaviors that try to keep us safe, but
[00:34:07] inevitably
[00:34:08] we feel safer, but it backfires because it reinforces anxiety. And do you find. As you were describing
[00:34:16] this, I was thinking, I was wondering, do you find that the,
[00:34:19] the anxiety becomes contagious, like the parent then rubs off the anxiety onto the kids and then kids start getting really anxious, which I imagine just makes everything more difficult.
[00:34:31] Tamara Hubbard: It certainly
[00:34:31] can. It's not a hundred percent given. Nothing ever is, but it certainly can. And
[00:34:36] so,
[00:34:36] It's important
[00:34:37] for parents to recognize their own anxiety again. We're gonna have anxiety, we're gonna feel anxious about this, but to be mindful of the language they use, the narratives that they use in front of their kids, even when they talk about that first allergic reaction story, right?
[00:34:54] Making sure to have conversations that are age appropriate based on our child's developmental [00:35:00] stage and
[00:35:00] age. To make sure that if they are struggling to cope with the diagnosis and what I call adapt and adjust
[00:35:07] to living
[00:35:07] with food allergies, which. Includes a lot of acceptance. We talk about that a Latin act, right?
[00:35:12] Accepting the diagnosis. Don't have to like it, but do have to accept that this is what it is. If they're struggling with all of that to get their own
[00:35:20] support and help. Whether it's conversations with
[00:35:23] the allergist to help them
[00:35:25] get more facts
[00:35:25] and information so that they feel a little better about things and more equipped
[00:35:30] practice skills,
[00:35:31] allergy management skills so that they feel more confident and competent in responding to an allergic reaction or getting support with a therapist to work through and learn coping strategies for their own anxiety and, and fear, and oftentimes guilt and sadness too.
[00:35:50] Chris McCurry: What about.
[00:35:53] Navigating Family Dynamics
[00:35:53] Chris McCurry: In, in my work,
[00:35:54] working with families over the years and when you work with kids, you never just work with the kids. You're working with
[00:35:59] [00:36:00] the parents, you're working with teachers, and, and often you're working with grandparents. Do you, do you find that sometimes you have to help the parents you're working with,
[00:36:10] deal with extended family who may have, you know,
[00:36:15] they may not take
[00:36:16] the food allergy thing very seriously?
[00:36:19] I mean, you know, as we were talking before we started recording, when, when I was a child, all those, you know, many decades and centuries ago you know, this, this just wasn't the
[00:36:30] thing.
[00:36:30] thing. I would imagine that a lot of grandparents are kind of maybe poo-pooing
[00:36:35] these things
[00:36:35] or thinking that, you know, the, the parents are overreacting.
[00:36:39] Does that show up and will work? I'm just curious.
[00:36:42] Tamara Hubbard: Very much so. Yeah. It shows up in my work.
[00:36:45] It shows up in posts in, in
[00:36:47] the allergy community. These
[00:36:49] conversations about extended family come up all the
[00:36:51] time.
[00:36:52] And it's, it's hard because,
[00:36:54] you know, maybe
[00:36:55] it's a, it's a generational thing. It could
[00:36:56] also be of cultural thing as well. Right. [00:37:00] Again, food allergies were not as identified and discussed and known.
[00:37:04] Many decades ago, as they are now, people weren't as aware. It feels
[00:37:08] like they weren't around, but they were. It's just we know more now and we're diagnosing more because we know more.
[00:37:14] Also feeding food introduction protocols have changed for infants, and so science is evolving in this area as well.
[00:37:21] And so, yeah, these conversations are not always easy. Oftentimes very hard because again, it goes to a conflict. Uh, values conflict, right? We wanna engage with our,
[00:37:32] our extended family, go to holiday gatherings, have grandma and grandpa over have family and friends over, but we also need them to understand
[00:37:40] the safety
[00:37:40] protocols and, and, and use the safety protocols that are keeping
[00:37:45] our, our, ourselves, our, our family, our children safe.
[00:37:48] And so
[00:37:49] I'll have conversations
[00:37:51] with with clients
[00:37:52] where we talk about, okay.
[00:37:54] Are you guys a united front with grandma and grandpa, right? And who, you know, conflict management, whose [00:38:00] parents are these, who's having that conversation if you are going one-on-one with,
[00:38:04] with them?
[00:38:05] And the tough conversations were maybe you have to decide. Our family members are not valuing our safety
[00:38:12] and our, our protection, especially
[00:38:14] in our own home. And so therefore we, we just can't invite them in anymore. We have to, you know, have different visitation. Maybe it's outside of the home or we take our food there, different, different ways of interacting with family members, but it's a very, these are very difficult conversations.
[00:38:31] And when it comes to, you know, matters of the heart, love.
[00:38:35] People we
[00:38:36] love and relationships. It's, these are very tough conversations
[00:38:39] to have sometimes
[00:38:40] and hopefully,
[00:38:41] again, a lot of times it's, it's families
[00:38:43] coming from a, a well-meaning place and they just don't know and understand. And hopefully in educating them, they will understand and help keep the child or the family safe.
[00:38:53] But sometimes it ends with, you know, that's not the case. And then they're making some very tough decisions [00:39:00] about relationships.
[00:39:01] Chris McCurry: Yeah, very hard.
[00:39:03] Tamara Hubbard: very very hard. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:39:08] Final Thoughts and Encouragement
[00:39:08] Chris McCurry: in the interest of time, final thoughts? Final questions, Emma.
[00:39:16] Emma Waddington: Hmm. I was wondering, I mean it's,
[00:39:19] it's
[00:39:20] this last piece that you mentioned about navigating extended family. I was thinking, wow, there are so many
[00:39:25] skills. That are required in living
[00:39:30] with a food allergy and or being a parent of a child with food allergy. I mean, all these really challenging situations. You need to be really good with coping and managing your uncomfortable feelings of anxiety.
[00:39:44] Guilt, responsibility.
[00:39:45] I mean, it's, it's,
[00:39:49] yeah, it's a territory for lots of learning and growth, so it sounds like a lot of help and support is needed.
[00:39:57] Tamara Hubbard: Yeah, and
[00:39:57] I think you mentioned something really important, [00:40:00] learning and growth and
[00:40:01] Oftentimes parents of kids with food allergies, we can kind of forget that
[00:40:06] piece.
[00:40:07] So experiences like. Gather family gatherings or holidays are good opportunities for not just ourselves, but to help our kids who have the food allergies learn and grow right practice, asking the right questions to assess safety
[00:40:24] practice,
[00:40:25] self advocating for their safety.
[00:40:27] Practicing. No thank you. I have my own food or you know, no, I can't just have one bite. Thank you.
[00:40:33] Practice navigating
[00:40:34] the world
[00:40:35] with. Their allergens around them, safely done, safely, right? Whatever that is deemed by their healthcare team
[00:40:42] and them
[00:40:43] based on their
[00:40:44] set of allergies. But
[00:40:46] We may wanna through our anxiety, avoid all of those experiences.
[00:40:50] 'cause it just feels
[00:40:51] easier. I would again, counter with, but how is that helping your child learn and grow and develop allergy management strategies and [00:41:00] skills that they're going to need to keep themselves safe as they grow and launch into the world
[00:41:04] too.
[00:41:05] So yeah,
[00:41:06] these uncomfortable, hard experiences
[00:41:09] sometimes are the ones where
[00:41:10] we learn and
[00:41:11] grow the most.
[00:41:13] It's
[00:41:13] just getting ourselves
[00:41:14] to that
[00:41:15] place of willingness to say, okay, anxiety,
[00:41:18] anxious thoughts,
[00:41:19] you know,
[00:41:19] I, I'm assessing safety. We've
[00:41:22] determined this is
[00:41:22] safe enough for us to do with these set of
[00:41:25] precautions and and protocols in place.
[00:41:28] Now I gotta do it
[00:41:30] and I'm gonna cope while I'm doing it 'cause it's gonna feel hard.
[00:41:34] Chris McCurry: Uh.
[00:41:35] Emma Waddington: is one final thought,
[00:41:36] Chris, I.
[00:41:37] A stretching here.
[00:41:38] Chris McCurry: No, go ahead. I was just gonna quote
[00:41:41] Mark Twain, but go ahead.
[00:41:42] Emma Waddington: Oh no. Oh, okay. Let me just do this. We love your quotes. Very quickly before I lose my train of thought what I love about what you just said is that here's an opportunity for kids to actually learn some phenomenal life skills. It's not
[00:41:56] just about anxiety and allergy management. Setting [00:42:00] boundaries is clarifying.
[00:42:01] What truly
[00:42:02] matters is prioritizing
[00:42:05] our
[00:42:05] wellbeing. These are. These are so important
[00:42:09] to ourselves
[00:42:10] and kids anyway, that,
[00:42:13] Chris McCurry: that's self-advocacy.
[00:42:14] Emma Waddington: yeah. Self-efficacy. if we can teach our kids to
[00:42:17] do that, it's
[00:42:18] a brilliant it's putting
[00:42:20] them in the, on the right path to a rich and meaningful life.
[00:42:25] Tamara Hubbard: And that is
[00:42:26] the crux
[00:42:27] of my book may
[00:42:28] contain anxiety. It, it's helping families and parents be mindful of that piece. 'cause we easily forget that in service of calming or, and anxiety and overwhelm. But to remember that, you know, we're trying to raise kids who not only meet normal developmental milestones and, and you know, are growing up just in general, but are also, are also learning how to navigate the world safely with food allergies and allergic conditions.
[00:42:55] And in order to do that, we have to allow them opportunities
[00:42:58] to practice
[00:42:58] skills and become [00:43:00] competent and confident in themselves.
[00:43:02] Emma Waddington: Wonderful. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:43:05] Tamara Hubbard: So they can enjoy life,
[00:43:07] or they can enjoy life and have a fully meaningful life as well, and we as families can too.
[00:43:12] Emma Waddington: Yeah.
[00:43:14] Chris McCurry: So, I may not get
[00:43:15] quote exactly right, particularly the back half, but I believe Mark Twain said If you eat a live toad first thing every morning, the rest of the day will go fine.
[00:43:27] Tamara Hubbard: Great.
[00:43:27] Chris McCurry: And I think, I think, you know.
[00:43:29] know, if,
[00:43:30] If, if, if these kids and these these families can navigate all this stuff, learn all these skills, they're gonna be unstoppable for the rest of their lives.
[00:43:43] Emma Waddington: that's right. Yeah, they'll, they'll accept the diagnosis, the food
[00:43:48] Tamara Hubbard: allergy
[00:43:48] diagnoses, and say,
[00:43:50] okay, and
[00:43:51] what's next?
[00:43:52] Chris McCurry: Yeah, bring
[00:43:54] it on.
[00:43:55] Emma Waddington: but I just see them beyond that, right? It's, it's.
[00:43:59] [00:44:00] How amazing
[00:44:01] to be eight or nine and be able to say to your extended family or to people that you don't know very well. You know,
[00:44:09] No thank
[00:44:09] you. I can't eat that. Like
[00:44:11] setting those boundaries
[00:44:13] and
[00:44:14] Tamara Hubbard: It's great for children like in general to be able to advocate, self-advocate and practice that,
[00:44:19] right?
[00:44:19] Like especially if you're shy, that translates to when you're trying to get a job, when you're in a social situation and you're trying to make friends, right? Yeah. There's a lot of these skills that We and our kids
[00:44:32] can learn to navigate the world safely
[00:44:34] if we just are
[00:44:35] aware of our own anxiety and use strategies to manage and get the information we need to manage it appropriately.
[00:44:42] And when we practice all this stuff, it's not just helpful for living life safely and fully with food allergies, but also just living well in general
[00:44:51] Emma Waddington: And beyond.
[00:44:51] Yeah, and beyond. Yeah. I love that. Thank you.
[00:44:56] Chris McCurry: Well, that sounds like a good place to stock.
[00:44:59] Emma Waddington: Yeah.[00:45:00]
[00:45:00] Chris McCurry: Thank you so much, Tamara.
[00:45:02] That was great. And again, the
[00:45:04] book can be pre-ordered
[00:45:05] on Amazon and other sites. So, thank you for all
[00:45:10] your work and this is fabulous. And, and again, we'll, we'll, we'll have links
[00:45:15] to your websites and various resources, show notes.
[00:45:19] And if there's something that you think would be useful to have in the show notes, in terms of resources shoot us an email and we'll make sure that that gets in there.
[00:45:29] Tamara Hubbard: Thank you so much for having me and giving me opportunity to talk about this very niche
[00:45:33] topic that touches
[00:45:34] us all. We all know someone with food allergies, even if it's not our own family. But to give this, give this insight into what it's like to live with food allergies and to remind people that, you know, we can live a full life and safe life with food allergies.
[00:45:49] Emma Waddington: That's wonderful. Yes.
[00:45:50] Thank you.
[00:45:51] Thank you
[00:45:52] Chris McCurry: you very much.
