Secret #69: No One Is Self-Made Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon
Recommended Episodes:
What happens when we stop glorifying the “self-made” myth and start honoring the power of community?
Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon—educator, entrepreneur, and founder of The Village Market and Our Village United—joins hosts Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry to explore the truth that success is never a solo act. Together they unpack the cultural illusion of rugged individualism, how to build intentional communities, and why collaboration, not competition, is the path to collective flourishing.
Dr. Hallmon shares how divine assignments, purpose, and persistence shaped her journey, and invites listeners to reframe independence as interdependence—to see that thriving is always a village effort.
Highlights:
The myth of the “self-made” person and the harm of rugged individualism
What it means to be village-made, not self-made
How community closes economic and opportunity divides
The six village archetypes: futurists, builders, connectors, collaborators, enthusiasts, and observers
Why resistance to collaboration is normal—and what to do about it
Divine assignments, purpose, and trusting discomfort as part of growth
How to build communities with alignment, trust, and presence
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 — Introduction and Dr. Hallmon’s background
03:00 — The myth of the self-made person
05:00 — “I’m not self-made. I’m village-made.”
09:00 — From theory to practice: building The Village Market
11:00 — Resistance to community-focused entrepreneurship
15:00 — Building anyway: faith, clarity, and conviction
17:00 — Why community is hard—and how healing changes it
20:00 — Scarcity, trust, and discipline in collaboration
23:00 — The historical proof: communities that changed history
26:00 — Purpose, divine assignments, and guidance through others
30:00 — The role of faith and timing in success
35:00 — The six village archetypes and how they work together
41:00 — Finding your role in community
44:00 — Why building alone limits your potential
46:00 — How to find your community and get out of your bubble
49:00 — The difference between networking and building your village
51:00 — The courage to stay in community and grow through discomfort
53:00 — Closing reflections and gratitude
More about Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon:
Follow @drkeyhallmon on Instagram
Dr. Lakeysha “Key” Hallmon, EdD is a transformational social entrepreneur speaker, civic
leader, and author of No One Is Self-Made. Dr. Hallmon is reshaping the future of Black
economic power. She is the founder of The Village Market, Our Village United, and The Village Retail, platforms that have supported nearly 1500 Black-owned businesses, facilitated over $10 million in direct sales, and deployed more than a million dollars in grants and technical assistance.
Her retail model spans high-foot-traffic locations including Ponce City Market in Atlanta (3.6
million annual visitors), the Google Visitor Center in Mountain View (80,000 annual visitors), and an upcoming storefront at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport (108 million
passengers annually). Collectively, these strategic placements give Black-owned brands access to more than 111 million potential consumers each year through her groundbreaking Village Retail model.
She partnered with the Atlanta BeltLine to launch the BeltLine Marketplace and served as
program partner for both Beyoncé’s BeyGOOD Foundation and the Fearless Foundation. A
proud advocate for Historically Black Colleges and Universities, Dr. Key serves on the Board of Trustees at Tougaloo College. She also sits on the board of Invest Atlanta, the city’s official economic development authority, which manages over $1 billion in active investments to foster inclusive economic growth. Appointed by Atlanta Mayor Andre Dickens, she served on the Women’s Advisory Council and previously served on the ethics and procurement committee during the City’s 61st mayoral transition. Dr. Key’s leadership and impact have earned prestigious recognition: she was named a Forbes 50 Champion, recognized on The Root’s list of the 100 Most Influential African Americans, and honored with the coveted Atlanta Business Chronicle 40 Under 40 distinction. She also received the Atlanta Business League Trailblazer Award and was named one of Georgia Trend’s Top 500 Most Influential Leaders.
She is the author of No One Is Self-Made: Build Your Village to Flourish in Business and Life.
Dr. Key has appeared on national platforms including Good Morning America, The Tamron Hall Show, CNN, The Today Show, iHeartRadio’s The Breakfast Club, and Good Day Atlanta. Her work has been featured in Forbes, Essence, Black Enterprise, the Atlanta Business Chronicle, and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Follow us on Facebook @lifesdirtylittlesecretspodcast and on Instagram @lifesdirtylittlesecrets
Reach out and let us know you are listening and what you would like to hear on the show - email:lifesdirtylittlesecretspodcast@gmail.com
-
Secret #69: No One is "Self-Made" with Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon
[00:00:00]
[00:00:41] Introduction and Guest Welcome
[00:00:41] Emma Waddington: Welcome to Life's Sturdy Little Secrets. I'm Emma Waddington.
[00:00:46] Chris McCurry: I'm Chris McCurry, and today we are honored, privileged to welcome Lakeisha Halman.
[00:00:53] Chris McCurry: She received her BA from Tougaloo, am I pronouncing that correctly? [00:01:00] College her master's in education and curriculum instruction from the University of Mississippi. And her doctorate in education from Liberty University.
[00:01:10] Chris McCurry: She's a former English teacher who moved to Atlanta in
[00:01:13] Chris McCurry: 2011 and
[00:01:15] Chris McCurry: in 2016 founded the Village Market, a platform that connects black owned businesses to consumers through access to business resources, educational programs, and marketplaces. In 2017, Dr. Holman launched our Village United.
[00:01:31] Chris McCurry: A nonprofit organization that supports small business development through its primary program, elevate.
[00:01:37] Chris McCurry: And in 2024. She published, no One Is Self-Made. Build Your Village to Flourish in Business and Life. A book that challenges the myth of individualism and emphasizes collaboration and community as critical tools for business and personal development. And she has a vast number of wards, honors and [00:02:00] recognitions being named one of Forbes 50 champions.
[00:02:03] Chris McCurry: list goes on. Georgia Trends 500 most Influential Leaders, trailblazer Award from the line of Business League our grape of which to welcome Dr. Holman. Thank you for being with us today.
[00:02:16] Lakeysha Hallmon: I am excited to be here and excited to be in conversation with y'all, so thank you so much for having me in your space.
[00:02:23] Chris McCurry: O by all means.
[00:02:25] Exploring the Myth of the Self-Made Person
[00:02:40] Chris McCurry: So today we're gonna be exploring the dirty little secret of no one is actually self-made. And you know, we humans are like deeply wired for connection. It's just. It's just part of who we are, which only makes sense, you know, because that's how we survived for all those years when life was pretty scary.
[00:02:48] Chris McCurry: And for un, unfortunately, for a lot of people in the world, life is still very scary and connection is really important so that people can thrive. And yet, you know, we live in this culture here in the West [00:03:00] where. You know, John Wayne, you know, the Lone Ranger you know, rugged individualism, you know, the self-made person, you know, used to be the self-made man the entrepreneur.
[00:03:13] Chris McCurry: You know, and these concepts seem baked into, you know, our culture and yet, you know, they can have some harmful effects as well. But the myth has a lot of staying power. I'm wondering if you could. You could speak to why the self-made person, the rugged individual has such staying power and why this is in some ways harmful, if not even toxic.
[00:03:37] Lakeysha Hallmon: Absolutely.
[00:03:38] The Journey to 'Village Made'
[00:03:38] Lakeysha Hallmon: So I think we can like back up just a little bit on. How I landed to this space before my book was launched February, 2025. I can't tell you both how many times I was on panels and in conversation or being featured somewhere. And
[00:03:56] Lakeysha Hallmon: and.
[00:03:58] Lakeysha Hallmon: with good [00:04:00] intentions, people will ask me how does it feel to be a self-made woman? And in the entrepreneur world I heard this all the time, but when I would sit in those conversations, it just did not feel true. And I never wanna sit in space or amplify stories that are untrue to what my existence has been. And so I was always clear that what people were trying to tell me is that job well done. You have built something, you have grown something. And I know it did not come without a great level of self-determination and I have a great deal of it. But when I sat in those conversations
[00:04:41] Lakeysha Hallmon: and when they would say that the discomfort would come over me because I knew the impact that my family had on me, my friends, my team, the community for my businesses and enterprises.
[00:04:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: And so
[00:04:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: I would sit and I would wrestle with that, and I remember in one one [00:05:00] reflection in my journal, I was like, but I'm not self-made. I'm actually village made. I'm a product of so many people who intentionally poured into me from resources to knowledge sharing to access her relationships. To staying up late with late. 'cause all entrepreneurs know that somehow three o'clock in the morning is a magical hour that wakes us up. And it's so annoying. And I remember the people who answered my phone calls when I couldn't sleep. And so. That started me on this journey of really unpacking this deeply western belief of this rugged individualism this notion to be a successful entrepreneur.
[00:05:43] Lakeysha Hallmon: The more glorifying story is to tell the doma story of what it means to do it alone. it is very American and in America we love some really rags to riches. Stories of [00:06:00] somehow this you embarked upon this
[00:06:01] Lakeysha Hallmon: I impossible journey, and now you're sending on Mount Rushmore or whatever the Mount Rushmore is. It is deeply American deeply western, deeply individualistic. And while those stories have been glorified and do they sound good? Yes, they sound great. But the reason why they're harmful. It's because it doesn't matter who we're celebrating from Jay-Z to Elon Musk, whoever it is, whoever that person who's exceeded a great deal of financial growth and access and capital, it is not true that they did it on their own. It is not true that I did it on my own. Regardless of what the support looks like, we all had it in some way. Some people were born into wealth. Some people were born into poverty. However, whatever, however you entered into this space, there are some people that pushed you further along and pushed you further than where you were.
[00:06:57] Lakeysha Hallmon: And
[00:06:58] Lakeysha Hallmon: so because I, [00:07:00] I speak to entrepreneurs all the time and I'm very privileged to do that. I knew that was important for me to start centering the true story of what I feel the true entrepreneur path and the path that we should honor and center.
[00:07:13] Lakeysha Hallmon: And
[00:07:14] Lakeysha Hallmon: that is the path. Really thanking and celebrating our village and the people who assisted us along the way, because if we continue in this path of individualism, we're gonna continue to experience the great divide between the have and the have nots. That means there's only so much space for only a few people. It's really sad, especially in my community. We can only name only a few people who made it to this particular place. We continue to amplify those stories and say that is the way we can. We will take entrepreneurs and visionaries and builders. I think we take them away from the true epicenter. An epicenter is a multi-pronged and intentional multi sted community.
[00:07:54] Lakeysha Hallmon: c.
[00:07:55] Chris McCurry: so you took this energy that you discovered. [00:08:00] And you started putting it into action. What's the first thing you did with it?
[00:08:04] Lakeysha Hallmon: You know, beyond writing a book to be able to scream with love with people, a lot of love in my screaming saying, Hey, y'all, no one's self-made with individualism. Only works for a few. It doesn't work for the whole, and we need to build and believe and start to talk about things differently. The only way that I was able to write this book is because I've intentionally built companies that celebrate community. I've intentionally. Build ecosystems for entrepreneurs that's surrounded by a village.
[00:08:32] Lakeysha Hallmon: I don't believe that we can really write about things that we have not built. Theory is fine. Well, you all know that theory only takes us so far, so hard. We need practice. We need it to be tangible. And so my first company, the Village Market I launched in 2016. It was very clear on what I was building.
[00:08:51] Lakeysha Hallmon: There was a great economic divide between black and white businesses. In other businesses, and I wanted to be, I wanted to be a part [00:09:00] of the change that closed that gap of resources, that closed that gap of upward mobility. And so I built the village market and it was, and I told the community that if you love small businesses, if you love black businesses, if you love local businesses, then that love should be a verb. It should be actionable. We should be very intentional in in how we spend. We should be very intentional on leaving reviews. We should be very intentional on how we mentor. We should be intentional on how we strategically partner. As I built this model now for almost 10 years, the conversations for entrepreneurs began to shift less about I and more about we. How can we do this together? How can we build businesses that also have a good to the community? How do we create these businesses where we pay people a livable wage and there's dignity in the workspace? All that I have been [00:10:00] doing
[00:10:00] Lakeysha Hallmon: is shifting mindset,
[00:10:03] Lakeysha Hallmon: While I have a privilege of launching ventures that have done well, I tell people I am in a business of shifting mindset in the way that we show up in the world, the way that we collaborate, the way that we see each other, the way that we strategically partner. The way that we hold conversations such as this, because I know that this is where the magic happens. I know that this is where the change happens and if we want to move our communities forward,
[00:10:36] Lakeysha Hallmon: If
[00:10:36] Lakeysha Hallmon: we want to be the living example of what it means to be collaborative and supportive and communal,
[00:10:43] Lakeysha Hallmon: we are are
[00:10:44] Lakeysha Hallmon: the generation that has to do it. And so from Village Market to my nonprofit, our Village United to even writing this book and talking about these things, my life is built deeply in intentional practice.
[00:10:56] Challenges and Resistance
[00:10:56] Chris McCurry: Did you get any resistance to this in the [00:11:00] community?
[00:11:00] Lakeysha Hallmon: Oh my gosh,
[00:11:01] Lakeysha Hallmon: gosh.
[00:11:02] Lakeysha Hallmon: so much, so much resistance because.
[00:11:04] Chris McCurry: How did, How did that manifest itself? Yeah, it manifested
[00:11:08] Lakeysha Hallmon: manifested
[00:11:08] Lakeysha Hallmon: itself in some very direct conversations that people would have with me. Like he, this is what you're trying to build this, no, it's not possible. This communal sense of entrepreneurship, this collective, that is not the way that entrepreneurs entrepreneurship is done,
[00:11:28] Chris McCurry: Yeah, it's almost an oxymoron.
[00:11:30] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah, absolutely. That entrepreneurship is rising to the top and being the best. And I would challenge that and I would say entrepreneurship is how many businesses can we get to rise to the top at the same time? Because if we can do that at the same time incrementally, then we can improve our communities exponentially. And so less about one and more about the strength of the mighty. But I can't tell you both how many [00:12:00] people even shared things like you, you should keep your full-time job and let me be very clear.
[00:12:06] Lakeysha Hallmon: clear. I am a believer that we should all keep our full-time jobs and then when we're ready to make that big transition to entrepreneurship, then we do that. I, these are things that I wrote about in my book as well,
[00:12:19] Lakeysha Hallmon: but
[00:12:20] Lakeysha Hallmon: it was a great deal of resistance. But what I knew and what I had inside of me while I met was met with a lot of nos and a lot of people who did not see the vision that I had. I can't share with you both. I was unwavering in what I saw in my mind. I was so clear that the vision that kept awakening me, I was so clear that our North Star is an intentional community. I was, I've been so clear that if we look at any moment of history from the hardest. The most bleak times. The way [00:13:00] that we survived and persistent in those times is because we joined United in community and said not on our watch. And so that is that deep belief that I just, that lives in my belly, that like rests in my heart space.
[00:13:15] Lakeysha Hallmon: And so
[00:13:15] Lakeysha Hallmon: while I got a lot of nos, the yes that I relied on was the yes, that was so innate inside of me that every time I got a no, I would hear it. I would process it
[00:13:27] Lakeysha Hallmon: I was like, I'm gonna build anyway. And I think this is so true for so many other entrepreneurs and builders and people who are not entrepreneurs, and what I'm talking about is a deep conviction of purpose. And so I won't say that my human self, that my feelings were not hurt, they were hurt. I can't say my human self that did at moments that I say now.
[00:13:51] Lakeysha Hallmon: Wait, is there. Is there something to what they're saying? Do you need to stay focused and stay in education? [00:14:00] I did all those things, but what I did not do is allow that to be my loudest voice. I literally built anyway. And then I, there's this movie that I watched as a kid. It's one of my dad's favorite movies, and now of course it's one of my favorite movies.
[00:14:15] Lakeysha Hallmon: But feel the dreams and. One of the central themes in field of Dreams, and you all may know this, but if you build it, they will come. And so what I realized that I had to spend less time trying to win people over and I needed to spend more time building and showing people what I am doing. And if I build it well enough, my people would come. Y'all. They did. They absolutely came. And that is always that my advice to entrepreneurs who go on an uncharted path or the road less traveled. I always share that if you build it and build it well, your partners, your team, [00:15:00] your resources will come because it would become so attractive that people want to be a part of it. So it was less about me convincing and more about me building well, to make it illuminous because people want to be a part of something that feels powerful
[00:15:16] Lakeysha Hallmon: and
[00:15:16] Lakeysha Hallmon: I rested in that. And so while I had some many quiet months of building quietly, I was so clear that when I did my big reveal to the community that it was going to be magnetic and that my work wouldn't be done, but I wouldn't have to plead and keep taking the meetings and. Selling people on a vision. I needed to plant people in the experience.
[00:15:39] Chris McCurry: You have the proof.
[00:15:41] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah, you have to have the
[00:15:42] Chris McCurry: Yeah. Well, it reminds me of, I can't remember the name of the Spanish poet who said, traveler, there are no paths. Paths
[00:15:50] Chris McCurry: are made by walking.
[00:15:52] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yes. Absolutely.
[00:15:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: Mm-hmm.
[00:15:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: Or the road less traveled.
[00:15:57] Lakeysha Hallmon: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
[00:15:58]
[00:15:58] Emma Waddington: I was just as you were[00:16:00]
[00:16:00] Emma Waddington: speaking thinking about. I love what you said about, you know, screaming with love. What a lovely way to put it. It's brilliant. It's really lovely.
[00:16:10] Emma Waddington: And that you were screaming with love that really what we need is this community. And I'm from an entrepreneur perspective.
[00:16:16] Emma Waddington: You know, that's really beautiful to think that actually I sometimes, as you were talking, I was thinking the tide is rising, all the ships rise with it. Right. But
[00:16:26] Emma Waddington: would love to hear your thoughts. Why is it you know that as you're trying to climb or trying to create these, this ideas of that community is what we need, that there is such a resistance, it just seems sometimes it it's sort of.
[00:16:44] Emma Waddington: surprises
[00:16:45] Emma Waddington: me that we find it so hard, or there's almost like, it feels like a bit of a fear in investing in a community, in supporting our community. I'm thinking beyond even so from a work business environment, but our neighborhood the, you know, the [00:17:00] humans that are struggling around us.
[00:17:02] Emma Waddington: Like it's really, it's difficult. People don't. Do it even though it sounds so beautiful. And when we feel we're a part of a community and we, you know, somebody offers this, you know, support, it feels so good. And yet it is so hard, I'll put my hand out, you know, to do and not to be thinking for yourself. And what is that?
[00:17:21] The Importance of Community and Collaboration
[00:17:22] Lakeysha Hallmon: You know, to speak plainly, it's the human experience. You know, the reality is we come to community as individuals with lived experiences where we may not have been trained and taught healthy relationships, had the communication styles, healthy disagreements.
[00:17:39] Lakeysha Hallmon: We come to community
[00:17:40] Lakeysha Hallmon: with a
[00:17:41] Lakeysha Hallmon: lot, with some of us with a great deal of hurt. And so because of that, there is a level of distrust that we bring into the room with us, even with the best intentions. We come into a community with a great deal of disappointments. People who said that they would do
[00:17:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: a thing and didn't do a thing. And so when we bring our [00:18:00] human selves to community, the community gets the most human selves and it shows up beyond. Especially from the moment of when it feels good. 'cause when it feels good and we're all getting together, everybody, the dopamines are going and we all feel great. Then when the dopamines come down and then we are just human to human and we're having to intentionally collaborate and push each other and share, share resources and share space and all those things that we've experienced in life. Sometimes they run to surface and they tell us to retreat. You can't trust this space. This is not safe. Remember all the, remember the disappointments. Remember how people have let you down? Remember how people didn't do their part? Remember. And so we get into this protective mold of trying to save and protect ourselves and it interrupts progress.
[00:18:54] Lakeysha Hallmon: So
[00:18:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: this is what I believe. The work is for us to do [00:19:00] our own individual work of healing. Imagine if we all did our own individual work of healing, confronting those things that I just named, and we enter a community from a place of being healed rather than a place of being scorned. I think that we would get something different, but it's going to require a level of discipline and a level of.
[00:19:24] Lakeysha Hallmon: almost an
[00:19:24] Lakeysha Hallmon: awakening to know that we have to do our individual work. But community is hard because relationships are hard. And what I encourage people as we build these intentional communities is that just because it's hard doesn't mean that's not where you
[00:19:42] Lakeysha Hallmon: supposed
[00:19:43] Lakeysha Hallmon: to be. It depends on what type of heart it's, But if it's hard because you're uncomfortable. If you wanna build anything worthwhile, it's gonna take a level of discomfort. It is going to stretch you. It is going to push you to be its best self. And this is exactly what [00:20:00] community is as well. I write a great deal about scarcity in the book as well because Emma, you raise a really good point around like, I need to put my own fake oxygen mask on first. That's what they tell us on the plane, right? I
[00:20:15] Lakeysha Hallmon: believe that as well. I believe that, but I can't tell you both being able to collaborate with like mind mission aligned and values aligned people, I have gone so much further than trying to tru at it alone. My good friend was on a panel and so she, one of the things that she said that really resonated with me, she said, you know, do I want. A hundred percent of the small amount that I've been able to do on my own, or do I want this 30% of what we can build to together that exceeds the a hundred percent that I built on my own. When we see the potential of collaboration. When [00:21:00] we see the potential of an intentional community and how it goes back to benefit you and those who matter most to you, I believe, then we can start to move forward. But community is not a space where everything is always supposed to feel good. Community is not a space where we just come together in kumbaya. Community is a space where we are intentional, where we're setting goals. So we're looking at KPIs, especially if we're trying to build things and we have to decide what are our values and how do we align there? And what is the mission that we're working towards? I go back to the word discipline because it, to be in an intentional community requires discipline to stay in it. Discipline to not exit the room too fast because it becomes uncomfortable. But I wanna be clear, y'all, it is [00:22:00] what we are talking about. It has great benefits when we do it well. But I know that so many people brought the mission far too soon because it has not been modeled. But I always go back to history. I always go back to history. The reason why I go back to history is because we need evidence of what we're talking about. So historically, there have been so many micro communities that have done some incredible things.
[00:22:29] Lakeysha Hallmon: From the Montgomery Bus boycott to Tulsa, Oklahoma, to so many other beautiful movements, it took intentional people who I knew probably, but not always friends. Who probably got on each other's last nerve, who probably had some choice words that didn't make it to the history book, but they decided that the mission was far greater than that moment of discomfort, that the collective interest was much more important than these personal [00:23:00] disagreements because our human cells come to moment, and so we have to do our individual work when that comes to come to be. Then we have to choose and con consistently choose each other when it gets hard. And hard doesn't mean toxic. I'm always careful here because I don't think, I don't think we need to be in every community. I wanna be clear. I do not think we need to be in every community and you, we need to be in community.
[00:23:27] Lakeysha Hallmon: That is vision. That is values aligned and mission aligned. But if we are not aligned in values, it's going to be hard. It's gonna be hard for us to coexist in a meaningful way.
[00:23:39] Chris McCurry: We often talk on this podcast about the idea of being, get comfortable being uncomfortable.
[00:23:47] Lakeysha Hallmon: yes.
[00:23:47] Chris McCurry: many endeavors, whether it's learning to play the violin, starting a business or a relationship, you know,
[00:23:54] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah. Or me
[00:23:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: getting back to the gym and
[00:23:58] Lakeysha Hallmon: My
[00:23:58] Lakeysha Hallmon: sore muscles. [00:24:00] You know, I have to see it through, and I think that's what everything in life we have to see through the hard moments. There's I just fundamentally believe from my own life experience, experiences, if we do not give up too soon, there's something for a greater waiting, waiting on us.
[00:24:17] Emma Waddington: And that's the level of trust, right?
[00:24:20] Emma Waddington: So as I was. As you were saying about, you know, building something great and people will follow there is that, you know, obviously, like you said you look through history, you can see all these examples, but that level of trust in the moment that, you know, this is really important and it's worth it, it's worth sitting through some of the difficult feelings.
[00:24:39] Emma Waddington: It's worth, you know, being challenged. And I think when I think about community, you know, we, I even think about within the family, right? It's.
[00:24:47] Emma Waddington: The family, our families are, you know, being human is being messy, like you said, and it means that like, you know, feelings get hurt misinterpreted.
[00:24:58] Emma Waddington: and
[00:24:58] Emma Waddington: being able to [00:25:00] step into those moments with a curiosity versus a judgment is incredibly hard.
[00:25:06] Emma Waddington: I call it the Jedi skills. One of our old podcast guests taught me this, you know, it's a real Jedi skill. It goes against our, you know, Default of just wanting to push people away, of wanting to do it alone, because it's painful. You rub up against difficult things when you create communities, when you are with humans and trusting that there's, that, it's worth it. It's worth bumping up to hard things to, to, you know, stay the course. Um. I think those, that piece around values probably is the glue. It's, that's why Trust Lives is in those values. So maybe we could talk a little bit about, you know, purpose of values. 'cause you talk about it so beautifully in your book, you know, how do we figure that out?
[00:25:54] Emma Waddington: How do we figure out, this is really important to us.
[00:25:58] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah
[00:25:59] Finding Purpose and Divine Assignments
[00:25:59] Lakeysha Hallmon: I [00:26:00] think these purpose conversations, they come up a lot and for so many people it's an intimidating conversation because. I wake up in the morning and I feel a profound purpose on my life. There are some people that wake up in the morning and they don't wake up with that blanket of love. They feel as though they're going to do the same thing that I, they've been doing every day, going to the same job, having the same roles in their families, and there's a level of discontent, and they don't know how to tap into that purpose. And so what I share, and I write about this in a book, before we get there, what I do believe is that we have these divine assignments. I think that you, there are moments in your life when we think back and you know that it was had to be divine, that you met this person. That you volunteered here, that you showed up at this event, that you were sitting next to this person on a [00:27:00] plane or on the bus, that you find yourself talking to a stranger in a grocery store, and then you find out that it's the person that you were meant to meet. I think these moments are divine. I look at them as a constellation in the sky that is guiding us to our purpose. I think these little moments that nudge us, that, that make sure that we're walking on course. And I also write about in moments in my own life, especially when I was in the education space. I'm forever an educator. Just looks different now, but I wanted to move to Atlanta. I was like, I gotta get to Atlanta. I'm from Mississippi. I love Mississippi by the way, but I wanted to get to Atlanta. It was close enough that I can go home and see my family all the time and far enough that I don't see my family all the time.
[00:27:51] Lakeysha Hallmon: So it was like the perfect balance and, I didn't have relationships, I didn't have a lot of relationships here. So my last [00:28:00] job in Mississippi was at Callaway High School. And this is divine assignment on steroids that I believe led me to even being able to be in this conversation with y'all So, I was teaching high school English next door to me and I tell this story in the book, so I'm gonna speed it up here 'cause I want folks to read the book.
[00:28:18] Lakeysha Hallmon: But
[00:28:18] Lakeysha Hallmon: I was teaching English a regulars honors, AP English, and next door was a special education class. And Ms. Ethridge was the teacher there. And so she would ask me to come over. She would say, Hallman, I need you to come over and volunteer today. I need you to help my students out. I want you to go over them with their reading and writing. And Ms. E she asked with love, but it was very, this is what I need you to do. And so I, I would volunteer and so, and I would volunteer on
[00:28:48] Lakeysha Hallmon: on
[00:28:48] Lakeysha Hallmon: my off period. And Ms. E and I developed a relationship where we would play tennis after school. And so she beat me every time. Every time. I, still feel away about that, [00:29:00] but one of our tennis matches, which she beat me very bad badly. She's like, Holman, you need to get your special ed certification exam. You have a gift. And I was like, Ms. E, I am an honors English teacher. I was young. I think I was maybe like 25, 26, and I was very clear on who I was and what I do, and I was like, Ms. E no, no, this what, this is not what I'm, this is not what I'm supposed to do. She was like, Holman, I need you to get this certification exam.
[00:29:28] Lakeysha Hallmon: Likely because I'm, I raised by parents who told me to honor those who are older than me. I begrudgingly signed up for this certification exam, begrudgingly young, almost overslept, didn't study. And I walked in with the mindset, I'm doing this only because Ms. E asked me to do it. Let me get this out of the way. Took the exam, didn't think anything about it, and then started to do all the things to, to
[00:29:55] Lakeysha Hallmon: relocate to
[00:29:56] Lakeysha Hallmon: another city.
[00:29:57] Job Search Struggles and Divine Intervention
[00:30:03] Lakeysha Hallmon: So I had to put myself in the job market. Couldn't find a job anywhere. Every time that I would get close the market the Fulton County, DeKalb County, Atlanta Market, they would just picking people who are already, who were not reco, relocating outta state. I kept getting passed on
[00:30:15] Lakeysha Hallmon: and
[00:30:15] Lakeysha Hallmon: finally landed an interview at South Cobb high school with Dr. Ashley Hosey. And when I got in the car, my mother was living at the time, but I called her, I was like, I know I got this job. I know this is it.
[00:30:28] Lakeysha Hallmon: And
[00:30:28] Lakeysha Hallmon: so Dr. Hosey called and told me how well I did. Essentially you.
[00:30:35] Lakeysha Hallmon: This is your job. I believe next day, deputy Jose called and he had to rescind a job offer because a teacher with more seniority wanted to come to that particular school.
[00:30:45] Lakeysha Hallmon: I
[00:30:46] Lakeysha Hallmon: was so disappointed. I'm so disappointed. 'cause I finally, I just knew that I landed it and so he was like, but I'm so impressed with you.
[00:30:53] Lakeysha Hallmon: I'm so impressed. He's like, now, if you have maybe a special ed certification exam, we [00:31:00] can offer you a job. So what happened the week before y'all? I
[00:31:04] Lakeysha Hallmon: got my certification exam. I passed and so I was able to tell Dr. Os hose like, well, as of last week, I do have my certification.
[00:31:15] The Power of Divine Assignments
[00:31:17] Lakeysha Hallmon: And so I tell this story because all of that was divine. I was divinely situated to be next to Miss E next door. She was divinely in my life. And came in a form that I could respect and honored to give me direction. And I think when you are seeking purpose and living a life where you are designed more, I think people come into your life and they know how to lovingly nudge you to your greatest and most optimal selves. So, Ms. E pushed me. I listened because. The body of who she is a person I deeply respect. Took the exam, got the job, [00:32:00] came to Atlanta, stayed in education for a little while, but my purpose was to be an entrepreneur. My purpose was to be a writer. My purpose was to be a speaker, but if I didn't follow that divine assignment of first volunteering, being in service to something, being in service to something, if I didn't do that, if Ms.
[00:32:21] Lakeysha Hallmon: E didn't nudge and push me. After I had gotten so many nos, my only yes came because she advised me to take the certification exam. And so for people who are on the journey of trying to find a purpose, I asked them to step back and I said, well, are you on assignment right now? Maybe the job that you're in, maybe it's an assignment. Maybe this organization that you're volunteering for, maybe it's a divine assignment. So it's less about wanting to be somewhere else and being present in where we are and giving it all that [00:33:00] we have so we can be pushed to the next thing. And I believe because of that, the purpose is already inside of us.
[00:33:06] Lakeysha Hallmon: We don't have to find it. It becomes awakened, I think every time we have these divine assignments and we pass the assignment. Purpose awakens even more. That's been true for my life and I write about even more moments in the book that I just cannot make up. It was something so profoundly it was almost spiritual. Some of these experiences I've had with following my assignment, which has been a guiding light for me to being able to really allow my purpose to awaken inside of me and me not be afraid of it.
[00:33:43] Chris McCurry: Sometimes we might talk about grace or other ways of describing this sort of, the universe is just that plans
[00:33:53] Chris McCurry: and,
[00:33:54] Chris McCurry: but we have to be open to that. We have to be paying attention
[00:33:58] Chris McCurry: and not so caught up in the way [00:34:00] things should be and to allow things to be as they are and then watch them.
[00:34:04] Chris McCurry: them,
[00:34:05] Chris McCurry: You know, take on some movement that maybe we didn't expect.
[00:34:10] Chris McCurry: So no that's a wonderful story.
[00:34:11] Chris McCurry: I'm
[00:34:12] Chris McCurry: wondering if we could spend a little time talking about, I know you have these six roles, this framework in your book. Maybe we could just touch on a couple of them. We started to talk about values and you talk about village made values. And not as opposed to personal values, but maybe in collaboration with personal values.
[00:34:33] Chris McCurry: And then I also, given that networking is such a popular thing right now, you talk about village versus network and there's a distinction between those two.
[00:34:45] Chris McCurry: So I'm just throwing that out there. You all can do what you want with it. If I'm using you all correctly.
[00:34:52] Building Your Village: Key Archetypes
[00:34:52] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah, so, I wanted to make sure that I had a chapter that [00:35:00] talks about how do you really build your village? Because I work with so many entrepreneurs across the country who say, I just need to find my people. I don't know how. And so in my roll call chapter. I outline these, what I believe are our archetypes in every community. We have our futurists. These are the visionaries. I write about Dr. Martin Luther King in a book as a visionary. I write about former President Barack Obama as a visionary
[00:35:31] Lakeysha Hallmon: uh, These people who come and arrive to this planet with some big magnetic ideas.
[00:35:39] Lakeysha Hallmon: they
[00:35:39] Lakeysha Hallmon: changed the
[00:35:39] Lakeysha Hallmon: course of our lived experiences for whether for better or for worse, but they changed the course. And so I write about these futurists
[00:35:49] Lakeysha Hallmon: and
[00:35:50] Lakeysha Hallmon: for so many entrepreneurs, they're visionaries or futurists, they can see things. It wakes 'em up at three o'clock in the morning. But what I know pairs well with a futurist [00:36:00] is a builder. Somebody who can go beyond this big vision in your brain who can put some processes, organizational structure in place and identify these people as builders.
[00:36:11] Lakeysha Hallmon: They roll their sleeves up and they get to work,
[00:36:14] Lakeysha Hallmon: and
[00:36:14] Lakeysha Hallmon: they often get to work for someone else's vision. But it's the perfect pairing from big vision to practicality. And then I write about. A person who I've been in in the in the community and I occupy more of the futurist in the builder space, but I write about the connector because this connector is so central to relationships.
[00:36:36] Lakeysha Hallmon: I dunno if you all have ever just met someone that when you met them and they understood what you did and they under and anyone understands, you all podcast, they'll say, you need to meet this person.
[00:36:48] Lakeysha Hallmon: This person
[00:36:49] Lakeysha Hallmon: is someone that you have to know.
[00:36:51] Chris McCurry: That's how we met you.
[00:36:53] Lakeysha Hallmon: That's how, thank you, Jill. That's Jill shout out. But that, but these connectors are how we grow our [00:37:00] communities is how we deepen our relationships.
[00:37:03] Lakeysha Hallmon: It's how we expand the greatness of our work and what we're doing. And so connectors are a critical, and they do it without thinking about it. They meet people who just fit together and say, y'all have to know each other. And then I write about these collaborators. These are people who say, oh, I see what you do, and I see what I do. I have an idea how we can really work together and do something meaningfully. Collaborators are deeply intentional about doing it as a collective. And I write about enthusiasts in my life. My enthusiast is my sister. I write about her in a book. My sister, Yolanda. The enthusiast, or we can also call them a cheerleader. This is the person you call on your best day because they're gonna probably scream louder than you. And these are the people that you call [00:38:00] on your worst day because their voice is so sobering to your spirit that you know that it will pass. And so enthusiasts are so critical to community because these are the people that keep the light shining. These are the people. Those very hard moments bring life back into us and remind us of who we are and what we're doing. And they're just the 10 outta 10. 10 outta 10 cheerleaders. And then the observers, let me be very clear. Most observers drive people bananas. These observers are the people who sit quietly in meetings,
[00:38:41] Lakeysha Hallmon: Sit
[00:38:41] Lakeysha Hallmon: quietly at community events, sit quietly. If there's a conference, they're sitting in the back of the room. And what's so powerful about them, they quietly observe everything. And why there are annoying? Because Heather, they're a little bit different than an enthusiasts. [00:39:00] These observers observe the things that they feel we need to know. And these things may not be the stuff that we want to hear. So these observers to say, I don't really know. I know that you're excited about this meeting. I know that you think that this is the best partnership.
[00:39:16] Lakeysha Hallmon: I don't think this is the best partnership for you. Or, I've been observing, I've been paying attention and that you're, you have completely changed in ways that do not. Reflect your values that do not reflect your mission, that do not reflect the person who I met years ago, this vision or this vision this vision is distorting your character. You don't always want to hear that, but observers have such a beautiful way of calling attention to the most critical things that we need to lean into and pay attention to. The reason why I write about these particular. Character traits and these archetypes and community is because we all need to [00:40:00] know where we fit. And what's beautiful about the evolution is that we're not always one thing. There are moments where you and a, you're a futurist. There's moments when you're the connector. There's moments when you become the person who is the observer and has to de deliver the news. That may take the air out of the room just a little bit if we know where we exist.
[00:40:25] Lakeysha Hallmon: Community. If we know where our g our gifts lie, then we know that we have place in community. And also as I write in this book, I also write about the we, the weaknesses of all these archetypes because none of them can exist alone. Chris, you said earlier we need each other community. Is this innate? We are innately communal people. And so from the futurist to the builder, to the connector, to the collaborator, to the enthusiast, to the observer, we need everybody
[00:40:58] Lakeysha Hallmon: in order
[00:40:59] Lakeysha Hallmon: to [00:41:00] build an intentional and impactful c community. And at the end of every chapter in my book, I have these reflection questions.
[00:41:07] Lakeysha Hallmon: As a former teacher in me, those reflection
[00:41:10] Lakeysha Hallmon: questions
[00:41:11] Lakeysha Hallmon: is because many times we read great books and we can't really do anything with it. I really want this book when we're looking at chapter by chapter that you can actually do something with this so you can see where you are and also so you can see who you need to attract the type of people that you need to build with.
[00:41:33] Chris McCurry: Final thoughts.
[00:41:36] Emma Waddington: Liz, I just wanted to touch before we end on, I mean, I love that chapter around, you know, how to build your community. This idea that you have different humans because together you're more than you on your own. Like the idea that I can. Do everything on my own. Feels really lonely, but also [00:42:00] lacks creativity, inspiration, excitement. I don't believe I have all the answers at all. In fact, if anything, I carry lots of imposter. And.
[00:42:12] Emma Waddington: and.
[00:42:14] Emma Waddington: So I love this, I love the concept of building a community in so many ways, and one of the things that we started talking about before we, we jumped on the podcast. I wanted us to just touch on it before is this urgency and need to build a community.
[00:42:29] Emma Waddington: And when I think about community, I think about it, you know, throughout our world, not just in, you know, we think about it in the corporate world, we think about it in schools. We think about it, but we think about it in our neighborhoods And
[00:42:43] Emma Waddington: You are absolutely right. It's idyllic, but it's hard. And so the invitation today for our listeners is to as you talk about it, it feels all warm and fuzzy.
[00:42:53] Emma Waddington: And I think, yeah, I'm gonna go out there and find my communities. 'cause you know, I want the futurist, I have a bit of [00:43:00] futurist, I think in me, but I don't have a lot of the builder. I have great ideas and they sometimes sort of spill out of me. And, I need
[00:43:09] Chris McCurry: When and then I get involved,
[00:43:11] Emma Waddington: that. Exactly.
[00:43:12] Emma Waddington: Exactly,
[00:43:13] Emma Waddington: That's right.
[00:43:14] Emma Waddington: Chris is much more
[00:43:15] Emma Waddington: of a
[00:43:16] Chris McCurry: Chris, I have an idea,
[00:43:18] Emma Waddington: Yes. So true. So true.
[00:43:21] Emma Waddington: You
[00:43:21] Emma Waddington: are the
[00:43:21] Chris McCurry: we're great
[00:43:22] Chris McCurry: collaborators.
[00:43:23] Emma Waddington: We are. We come together incredibly well. So perhaps for our listeners is to think about, you know, this community that they can start building. What are some of the things they can start today?
[00:43:36] Lakeysha Hallmon: Oh
[00:43:36] Emma Waddington: To do. Yeah,
[00:43:38] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yes.
[00:43:38] The Importance of Community and Presence
[00:43:38] Lakeysha Hallmon: I'm gonna answer that and something I wanted to pinged in my brain about what happens when we build a loan. We also limit our potential. I, my best ideas is because I've been able to ping pong them off other brilliant people who say, who considered this? And what about this?
[00:43:59] Lakeysha Hallmon: [00:44:00] While I still guided the seed is my baby, but that seed is nurtured by other very brilliant people who have different lived experiences, different access than I do.
[00:44:11] Lakeysha Hallmon: And
[00:44:11] Lakeysha Hallmon: so what happens when we build alone or in our, on our island, it limits the potential of our lives. And so what I ask the invitation that I give to the listeners. Do we wanna live exponentially at our best for ourselves, for our children, for our family, for all those who we love, for our communities and for our human existence.
[00:44:39] Lakeysha Hallmon: Do
[00:44:39] Lakeysha Hallmon: we want to live and maximize all of our pit, all our potential while we are here? If the answer is yes, then the answer requires two things. Us doing our own work of healing. Us being tethered by intentional people who sharpens us because [00:45:00] iron sharpens iron. And for people who are desperate for a community, because I was reading that we're experiencing a loneliness epidemic, and it happened on the height of social media and then it was illuminated even more during the pandemic. So many people did not recover from staying in, staying home. Rather than having in-person meetings doing everything via Zoom. And I'm one of those that like zoom meetings by the way. But we have somewhat retreated from each other. There's been a sense of comfort in us self isolating. If you know that you desire community desire to be paired with like-minded people, the most important thing that we can do today is get out of the house and [00:46:00] go to spaces where we have interests in. So if it is entrepreneur events. You need to go to entrepreneur events. If it's volunteering, you need to go do that. If you are in a corporate setting and you wanna grow your career, been out of the corporate world for a while now, but you need to go to events where you can meet like minds, you need to go to conferences, you actually need to talk to people. In order for us to build community, we have to talk to each other and not just talk to each other. We have to choose to see each other because seeing at this point of where we are as a choice, I can sit in this conversation with you and I can choose to let it just be a conversation, or I can choose to see Chris and Emma. And I can be deeply grateful for this moment, and not it, allow it to be just another PO podcast, not just another passing moment, [00:47:00] but be so deeply present and know that our gatherings are divine and intentional. And let me make sure that I show up fully in this moment if we, and what I'm speaking of is being deeply present. You build community by being present. That means rather than sitting at a table with family and friends or at an event and everyone is doing this, if y'all can see my phone, you put your phone down and we take time to
[00:47:35] Lakeysha Hallmon: actually delight in the experience of
[00:47:38] Lakeysha Hallmon: each
[00:47:38] Lakeysha Hallmon: other. These things that I'm naming, these are not epiphanies. things have are tested, tried and true. We have to get our bubbles. We have to go in community of like-minded people. We have to have conversations. We have to choose to [00:48:00] see each other, have to choose to be
[00:48:03] Lakeysha Hallmon: deeply
[00:48:04] Lakeysha Hallmon: present and. Why I was very careful to talk about building Village and different with networking. Networking is so transactional. I don't know if you all ever been in spaces where you feel that someone just swiped a card on you. They just came to take, they came to take, they came to take, they came to
[00:48:26] Lakeysha Hallmon: take, they came to
[00:48:27] Lakeysha Hallmon: distract and it was, never any giving. Networking is almost like swiping a card.
[00:48:34] Lakeysha Hallmon: and so
[00:48:34] Lakeysha Hallmon: I ask people less about being transactional and more about being intentional. Being intentional. Why are you showing up what you need and what you have to offer and what's clear? There are some seasons in our lives where we have more to offer. There are some seasons in our lives where we have more to give, and there are seasons in our lives where we have to receive a lot more because we're in a deficit or we're in the building stage [00:49:00] was. Powerful about community is when you get out of survival, when you have something to give, you have to remember your survival and remember people supporting you and make sure that you're a giver. So Emma gave you a long, rounded, rounded answer there. But we gotta get out our bubbles. We have to get outta our bubbles. You know, we have to choose to be different.
[00:49:28] Lakeysha Hallmon: It
[00:49:28] Lakeysha Hallmon: is, I think we've all heard being the change that we want to see, and sometimes we hear these things so much that they lose their, they lose their sting. They lose the purpose of why we ever said it. I think now we got a whole words hostage and make them mean something in how we live our lives.
[00:49:52] Emma Waddington: Amazing. So inspiring and as we step outside and you know, be the change we wanna [00:50:00] see, it can sting.
[00:50:02] Lakeysha Hallmon: Oof. Yes.
[00:50:04] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yes.
[00:50:06] Lakeysha Hallmon: Oh yes.
[00:50:07] Emma Waddington: think that.
[00:50:07] Emma Waddington: That's like a muscle. Jill actually, fabulous. Jill started, who introduced us.
[00:50:13] Emma Waddington: She talks about
[00:50:14] Emma Waddington: building that muscle. And we've had a couple of other conversations on the podcast. We had one on conflict resilience and moral outrage. And you know, there's lots of conversations about how hard it is to. Be in communities where, you know, people say things that you don't like or people will point things out that you don't agree with. And our default is to move away. Just sort of make them others and not one of us. Sometimes we don't have an us, it's just not us. But that creates division and that polarization that we're seeing is getting worse. And instead, your invitation is to trust that there is your community. Your [00:51:00] community is there.
[00:51:01] Emma Waddington: You
[00:51:01] Emma Waddington: will find it. You've gotta move forward. And you've gotta look for the people who share your values, your vision, your what moves you, what fills your heart, and. It's,
[00:51:14] Emma Waddington: It's worth feeling uncomfortable for.
[00:51:17] Lakeysha Hallmon: Absolutely. I
[00:51:19] Lakeysha Hallmon: have birthed
[00:51:20] Lakeysha Hallmon: many worthwhile things in discomfort and I'm grateful for it.
[00:51:25] Lakeysha Hallmon: I wrote a book that great, gave me a great deal of discomfort.
[00:51:29] Emma Waddington: Can just imagine.
[00:51:30] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yes, and no one is self-made, is out in the world right now because I sat through and wrote through and edited through
[00:51:38] Lakeysha Hallmon: and challenged myself through that discomfort.
[00:51:41] Emma Waddington: Yeah, and we're so grateful to you for that.
[00:51:47] Emma Waddington: Oh, I think you're on mute, Chris. We just missed all of that wonderful wisdom
[00:51:52] Chris McCurry: No,
[00:51:54] Chris McCurry: sorry. I. I didn't wanna cough. No I,
[00:51:57] Chris McCurry: you know, at some point in writing [00:52:00] the book, you had the thought, why did I agree to do
[00:52:02] Lakeysha Hallmon: Oh, absolutely.
[00:52:03] Emma Waddington: At least once.
[00:52:04] Chris McCurry: Yeah. Emma and I have written together.
[00:52:06] Chris McCurry: We know what that's like.
[00:52:07] Final Thoughts and Reflections
[00:52:07] Chris McCurry: But alright, so Lakeisha Holman, once again, the book is, no One Is Self-Made. Build Your Village to Flourish At Business At Life.
[00:52:17] Chris McCurry: We will have a link to that in the show notes as well as your webpage. If there's anything else that you think our listeners might find useful or enjoy put it in the show notes to shoot us an email, we'll include that.
[00:52:31] Lakeysha Hallmon: I will.
[00:52:31] Chris McCurry: this has been a lovely conversation and one I think is going to be very.
[00:52:35] Chris McCurry: Inspiring and useful to,
[00:52:37] Emma Waddington: Yeah.
[00:52:39] Chris McCurry: Lot of people up there. I know it's been for me.
[00:52:42] Emma Waddington: Yes, absolutely. Lots of wonderful invitations. That,
[00:52:46] Emma Waddington: and empowering that we can make a difference. We can build communities and that truly matters to where we're at in the world today,
[00:52:56] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah, and we can be happy.
[00:52:58] Emma Waddington: and we can be [00:53:00] happy.
[00:53:00] Emma Waddington: Oh my.
[00:53:00] Lakeysha Hallmon: happen.
[00:53:01] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah.
[00:53:02] Emma Waddington: Awesome.
[00:53:03] Lakeysha Hallmon: yeah. Thank you
[00:53:04] Lakeysha Hallmon: both. Yeah. Thank
[00:53:05] Chris McCurry: and thank you for the work that you do.
[00:53:07] Chris McCurry: do.
[00:53:08] Lakeysha Hallmon: Thank you. Absolutely. I love it.
[00:53:11] Emma Waddington: Yes.
[00:53:11] Chris McCurry: we could tell
[00:53:12] Lakeysha Hallmon: do.
[00:53:13] Emma Waddington: Yeah.
[00:53:14] Emma Waddington: it's
[00:53:14] Emma Waddington: beautiful.
[00:53:15] Lakeysha Hallmon: Yeah.
